Very few topics have been the subject of jokes as much as marriage has. But as anyone who has been married will tell you, marriage is hardly a joke! In fact, it takes a lot of dedication and effort to make a marriage succeed.
In today’s if-it-doesn’t-work-then-replace-it world, it’s hardly surprising that a lot of marriages fail. Often, people enter into it with their rose-colored glasses on, thinking that married life is a walk in the park, until reality hits them, and by then, the trials and demands of marriage have beaten the life out of them, and they are all too ready to give up and move on.
How then does one stack the deck in favor of succeeding in married life? Like any worthwhile endeavor, the key is in preparing well. As the adage goes, “Fail to prepare, prepare to fail”. Here then are four areas of concern that a couple contemplating marriage should prepare for before taking the plunge. While this alone will not ensure success, at the very least it will prepare them for what lies in store, and hopefully, the preparations will be enough to see them through the rough patches that every married couple will inevitably encounter:
Logistical concerns
This covers the physical arrangements of the marriage. Things like where to live, how each other’s daily schedule is affected, even down to details like who does the groceries should be discussed. Deciding for yourself is sometimes hard enough, but in marriage, there is no such thing. Both parties should be considered at all times. Otherwise, one party might feel disadvantaged or neglected, eventually causing resentment or stunning the growth of the partnership.
Emotional concerns
It is assumed that both parties are emotionally mature enough to enter into marriage, but this is rarely the case. More often, people enter into marriage with baggage from past relationships or issues with self esteem, hoping that the marriage will provide the cure for these hurts. On the contrary, these issues will manifest themselves sooner or later, causing tension, jealousy or bitterness, thereby adversely affecting the marriage. Discuss these things as objectively as possible, with the end goal of helping the other resolve these issues. This way, both partners can begin married life with a clean slate, ready to travel light for the journey they are about to embark on.
Financial concerns
This is a sticky subject for some couples. Sometimes, it stems from the fact that they get their self-worth from the size of their wallets. Other times, spouses have a hard time relinquishing control of their finances to their partners. Or worse, they see their personal finance as a tool to manipulate the other, allowing them to get their way when they need to. Whatever the reason, the truth is that from the onset of marriage, two lives become one, so the finances of each partner should be combined into one whole. One cannot claim financial success while the other is in ruin. It is the sum total of your finances that matter, so this should be discussed carefully, allowing both partners to come up with a financial plan that both of them are comfortable with. Old stereotypes go out the window here, like the man should be earning more than the wife. Both partners may be earning, or one is earning while the other monitors the budget. It is in fact a partnership, and the financial success of the partnership lies in both parties playing their roles diligently, thereby contributing to the financial health of the marriage.
Spiritual concerns
Often the most overlooked aspect of marriage, this is ironically the most crucial part. It is this spiritual connection that will keep a marriage together when all else fails. When the boundaries of their patience, understanding and tolerance have been reached, then all sense of hope is lost and there is simply nothing more to work for or look forward to. However, God has a different plan! Since God is the author and architect of marriage, He naturally would want all marriages to succeed and for all couples to experience His best in marriage. Sadly, a lot of couples miss out on this simply because they rely on their own limited strength, wisdom and experience to see them through. The phrase “The family that prays together stays together” is so much more than just a saying, it is a battlecry! Come to God and discover what He has in store for you in marriage and claim His promise that “In everything, God works for the good of those who love Him”.
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